Hope & Processing Grief

Self-Love Series: Installment I

Hope Matters

Hey, Hope Buddies. I’ve so enjoyed reconnecting with you all this week through these Hope & Coffee Minis. It’s been such a release. So, let’s get into it shall we?

A friend of mine said the following in her podcast* this Tuesday:

Grief is love. -Tonja Murphy

As one who is often familiar with the wave of loss and grief, I understood what she meant, and it rings true. However, I had an additional thought.

If grief is love, then healthily processing grief is self-love.

As you think on this, let’s not limit grief to people. Grief can encompass the nouns of our lives: people, places, things, ideas.

Sometimes, we can allow grief to grip us in a way that makes it impossible to move forward. I mean, we’re alive and breathing, and we keep living, but we stop making progress and allow the grief to consume us such that it’s all we think and talk about. We forget to fully care for ourselves and others as we simply go through the motions without care for the future and what could be.

Now, grieving is absolutely okay; we need it. Yet, it’s how we process it that matters. How do we continue to live life in absence of that which we’ve lost? Because, life does indeed go on. Although it might feel as if our lives have stopped, it hasn’t. And, how do we move on when it feels nearly impossible?

Now, let me be clear that healthily processing grief doesn’t lead to a forgetting but an alternate remembering. It’s important that, while you’re missing whichever noun you’re grieving, you find joy in your remembering. What was good about it? What did you learn from it? How does that inform your today? As a result of the grief, what positive changes have you made? How will you keep living in a way that honors what you’ve lost?

Because I’m still here and want to be fully present in my life and others’, I actively decide to love myself by moving forward in hope that things will be better, that I am better for the noun I’ve allowed to pass through my life and that it was given to me for a reason. An alternate remembering.

I am, by no means, an authority on grieving nor am I a therapist. I’m simply sharing how I process mine while holding on to hope. These words make it sound easy; it’s not. It just takes deliberate, consistent, and persistent thought shifting.

I cannot leave this space without also giving a huge shout out to God, because it is indeed my faith in Him that has pulled and is pulling me through, no matter which noun I’m grieving. My faith causes me to be grateful for the love, loss, and learning. It gives me hope that there is even more and greater to come.

💜,

Parthenia

*Sippin’ Tea with Tonja: Sippin’ Tea with Stephen Brown can be found on Apple, Spotify, and Podbean. I’ve linked the Apple one, because that’s the platform I use.

Coffee Matters

Coffee Buddies, I’m actually writing from a coffee shop this morning. A little Saturday local coffee adventure. 😊 Today’s hopeletter comes to you from The Bean Coffeehouse Cafe. The thing I love about coffeehouses is that they’re so homey and welcoming, particularly in Mississippi where hospitality is our thing. 😁

This morning, I’m drinking their medium, which is Sun Punch by GRIN Coffee out of Hattiesburg, MS. This has been my view as I write. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.

I’ve been intent on coffee adventures this year. However, I was focused on places not at home. So, I’m going to focus on my city for a bit. Stay tuned for more.

What’s your favorite coffee haunt where you live?

I appreciate you taking the time to read this hopeletter about my life and coffee. Please share with a friend who could use a little hope or coffee recommendation.