Hope Matters
Hey, Hope Buddies! I’ve been thinking lately about the how subjective success is. One person’s definition can vary vastly from another’s. As I was thinking about my personal definition of success and what the markers are for that, I remembered an interview I was part of about 10 years ago.
Now, let me explain. At that time, I was well into my 30s; five years divorced; simply surviving; had been working my first full-time salaried job for less than a year; and Son was practically a new teenager. I certainly didn’t feel like a success or think I was anywhere near it. Yet in this interview — as I was answering the interviewer’s questions and discussing large chunks of my life — she paused after I finished answering one of her questions and looked at me with amazement and said…
How many success stories are you?!
This question caught me off guard and made me smile a little, because as I mentioned before, I didn’t consider myself a success by any stretch of my imagination. Far from it, actually. As far as I was concerned, I was just living my life one day at a time, trying to get things right or as close to right as possible, while keeping Son and myself alive and housed. (This is actually how I still see my life.)
Well, I was having a conversation with a friend the other day, and she said, “You don’t understand how rare it is to find a parent that…I have seen…” I sat on the other end of the line listening to her and thought to myself, ‘Wow! They’re still happening.’ These success stories.
To me, these are everyday doings. Nothing spectacular, and I certainly don’t consider myself as having arrived. What I have done, since that interview 10 years ago, is occasionally try to take note of the small wins in my life. Over time, I’ve also come to realize that my small wins are other people’s ideas of success. I don’t know that they’ll ever be that for me as I look at them incrementally (yet another thing I need to flesh out with my therapist 🙄🤦🏾♀️).
I’m writing this hopeletter to encourage you and me.
Take note of the small wins; they’re not only someone else’s successes but yours, too. The small victories add up to a life of overcoming and major milestones.
Take stock of them before deciding (and praying about) what your next steps are.
Take moments to breathe, rest, and evaluate just how far you’ve come. (I certainly don’t do enough of this.)
As I write this, old song lyrics come to mind and make me feel a little like singing, “When I look back over my life, and I think things over. I can truly say that I’ve been blessed. I have a testimony.” Maybe one day, I’ll tell it all or just continue to tell you all pieces of it here. But, I do have several testimonies that have formed the Parthenia behind these thoughts and words you read.
This life has involved much prayer, thought, loving, leaving, and moving forward because of and in spite of my circumstances. I have been blessed. I am a blessing and indeed a success
Hope Buddies, here’s to a lifetime of continued successes and may we always see them for exactly what they are.
Let’s celebrate! Share some of your everyday doings that are actually successes.
Coffee Matters
Coffee Buddies, I have not only been drinking coffee but delighting in it for the past few years. For some people, coffee is just to get them rolling out of bed and out the door in the mornings, and it used to be that for me. A means to an end. Now, it brings me so much pleasure to taste for the notes the roasters say are in the beans. Sometimes, I find them, and sometimes I don’t.
But lately, I’ve expanded my enjoyment by “playing with my coffee” as it were. Growing up Black in the Deep South, I was often discouraged from “playing with my food” — and as a child who most often toed the line — this feels simultaneously rebellious and fun.
On any given morning, I decide which method I’ll use to brew my morning cuppa. Then, appropriately grind the coffee beans for it. This is what I’ve learned and am enjoying immensely: Different brewing methods bring forth different notes, which means I’ve been “playing with my coffee” way more than I used to, especially when I buy a new bag of beans.
I’ve also learned this. In a world that is constantly changing and where my routines provide comfort and familiarity, shaking up the small things bring newness and joy. So, shake it up, Coffee Buddies, even if it’s a tiny thing. The unfamiliar might be the joy you’ve been looking for.
With much hope and excellent coffee,
Parthenia 💛🤎
I appreciate you taking the time to read this hopeletter about my life and coffee. Please share with a friend who could use a little hope or coffee recommendation.