When Life Knocks You Sideways

On grief and choice

For the second time this year, within 3 months, I’ve lost 2 extremely important people in my life. One of whom held me in the road and prayed alongside me for the other, as they both had health issues they were living through. Somewhat similar journeys. With that said, I’m grieving yet again. Honestly, I don’t know that I ever stopped. *deep sigh*

Until 2026, when grief showed up, I put on my boxing gloves, determined not to be taken down. However, this year grief showed up in the boxing ring with loaded gloves, ready to go to battle, and all I had were my regulation ones.

Putting my gloves down, y’all.

When I tell y’all I'm down for the count, because…

1. I knew. Each time, The Spirit made me aware it would come to an end, and I begged and dared to believe anyway for a different outcome.

2. They happened sooner than I expected. Despite knowing the outcome, the phone call/message still caught me off guard; I didn’t feel prepared. I believe death will always feel too soon, no matter what age the person is or what they’ve endured.

3. It seems something adverse hits my life each time I’m on the verge of a breakthrough to something new or different happening in my life, and yet…

I hold onto hope and faith. Clinging to them for dear life, because that’s all I have. My life doesn’t and can’t stop, because others’ have. I know that. But sometimes I wish it would slow down enough for me to at least get my bearings.

What I've learned these last 3 months is that I’ve got to:

• Let grief do its thing. I won’t win (My therapist assures me of this.). The ebb and flow are unpredictable, and I simply have to roll with it.

• Keep going and continue to approach the good things in life with fervor, in spite of and because of my grief. You see; they loved me, and I know for sure each of them would have my a**, if I let anything keep me from moving forward.

• Allow people to check on me and be honest about how I’m truly feeling. Like we used to say, “Ain’t no future in yo frontin’.” Basically, pretending to be okay when I’m not adversely impacts me and others around me.

“Dearly beloved, we’re gathered here today to get through this thing called life…” And get through it we shall. How we get through it, how we choose to view it determines whether we push through to the other side. Today, I choose to hold onto hope and faith and push through.

Love 💛🤎,

Parthenia

As always, your comments and insight are welcome.